To Pay, or Not to Pay. It Shouldn't be a Question!

Even if a father (or mother, but in this case, we are going with father), chooses not to give their child physical and emotional support, they are still obligated to give their children financial support. My sister is famous for saying, "My child does not live off only air." And she is right. Even if father's choose to ignore the fact they have a child, that child still exists. That child needs to eat and a place to live. He needs school supplies and clothing. A well round child needs sports and other activities. All of this costs money, but yet, many parents out there decide that their children are not important enough in their life to help provide these things.

Now I'm not referring to those parents who find themselves out of work and miss a month's worth of child support payments. That can happen to the best of us. I'm referring to those parents who do everything they possibly can so they do not have to pay child support. My ex-husband as pretty much nothing to his name. At this point, I'm struggling to confirm an address for him and without an address, no one can collect anything. (Well, I probably could take him to court myself, but I can't afford that!) He has also avoided having too much taxes taken out so his refund cannot be garnished, and he works under the table (or doesn't work at all) the majority of the time.

So while the basic problem lies with his lack of morals, another problem helps him continue on this path. People allow him to work under the table or just don't report that he works for them. The State of Maine, and I'm sure many other states, require employers to report all new hires to DHHS. For more information, visit Maine Support Enforcement and Recovery. Sometimes during last school year, my ex began working for Region 9. By the time I figured this out, reported it, and DHHS confirmed it, the school year was over. A withholding order was sent, but there were no more paychecks to garnish. If Region 9 (RSU#10, I believe), had reported him as a new hire, my son would have had that much more money in his bank account. It irritates me to no end that a school district could be so negligent, but they are not the only ones. If you know a business isn't reporting or is paying people under the table. Don't interact with that business. As dramatic as it may sound, that business could easily be taking money from children and enabling a deadbeat to remain just that. I know from the business stand point, that it is a pain to withhold the money. I've had family members who have had to do it, and they were not impressed. I guess it just boils down to the fact that more often than not, the responsible people have to pay for the mistakes of the irresponsible. The ones that should not have to pay, are the children.

My son is extremely lucky. He has a wonderful stepfather who is there to support him in every way. He has taught him to throw a football, watches his sporting and school events, and takes an active part into trying to mold him into an upstanding citizen. He is proud of my son's accomplishments, and he's disappointed when my son messes up. Let's face it, I really should be saying "our son". My husband is my son's father a million times over. This does not, however, mean his first father (as my son calls him) should be off the hook, unless of course he no longer wants that title. In that case, all he has to do is say so. Until then, he is legally responsible to financially support my son. My son deserves that. He deserves the extra money in his college fund. He deserves the extra camp we may be able to send him to or the extra sport he could play. Nothing kills me more to know we cannot afford for him to do an extra that would be so good for him when he is actually owed more and more money with every passing day. Again, my son is lucky. We are able to provide so much for him even without the child support, but what about all the children out there who aren't so lucky? Think about that the next time you hear about someone not paying their child support and turn a deaf ear when you could be helping.