The Best of Intentions

Recently an e-mail appeared in my inbox that fills me with mixed emotions. The e-mail was from the sun journal, a reply to an e-mail I sent them (see below). I was impressed at both its length and the time the replier put into responding. After all, I didn't expect anything back.

The editor had some advice to help me out. While I appreciate the time, effort, and compassion, I've tried every suggestion she gave with no gains. So my appreciation becomes blurred by annoyance. I've tried it all. Nothing happens. Now all I get is recommendations to try what I've already done. It reminds me that people don't understand this problem. They don't understand that despite all that can be done to collect child support, many parents continue to get away with not paying. In 2005, 30% of single parents did not receive all the child support due to them by court order or legal agreement, and almost 23% received no support at all. This is a problem. Even with all the phone calls I make and letters I write, I still receive only a small portion of what my ex-husband owes to support his son. It seems that the public is oblivious to issue. Collection efforts are improving and while that is wonderful, it is all the public hears about. People need to know that despite the increase in collection efforts, it is still not enough!

Society also has a prejudice that single parents, mothers in particular, are also low income. While the editor was trying to be helpful, she too showed this prejudice. One of her recommendations was that I seek out legal assistance. She recommended Pine Tree Legal, a service for low income families. I actually use Pine Tree Legal's website a lot, and it is a wonderful organization, but beyond their website, they are of no use to me. I am not low-income. In fact, the majority of single mothers are not low-income. In 2005, 28% of single mothers live in poverty. Thirty-one percent of both single mothers and father received public assistance and only 6% received TANF. I think these statistics over-whelmingly demonstrate that while single parents struggle, this does not mean they are low-income. Another fact society needs to realize.

Overall, I am only thankful for the help this editor attempted to give, but her response reminds me of exactly what I want to accomplish. I want people to know what goes on in the collection of child support, both the successes and the failures. I want the public to recognize the need for support, but also realize single parents can and do stand on their own. I want the public educated for the sake of all the single parents out their, and for our children.

Note: The statistic used are from a US Concensus report called Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2005. Also mentioned was the Pine Tree Legal website.