More for Him

Time. No one ever has enough, that is true, but for single parents time is even more elusive. One person to do the job of two. One person to make lunch, fix the TV, and answer the questions all at once. One person to play the games, listen to the jokes, read the notes. One person to drive the car, do the shopping, attend the activities. One person.

As that one person, I find the time. Time is important and my son deserves every second. Unfortunately, as I find the time, I loose the patience. I hate that fact. I hate loosing my patience. I hate that I can't reach deep inside myself to calmly answer his every question, to still the annoyance at yet another request. I hate that he has only me to turn to even when I'm not giving him what he needs. I hate that there are times I don't give him what he needs.

I know my son deserves two parents. Two different souls to raise him. Unfortunately, he only has me. Despite the lack of time, and my lack of patience, his words tell me he's ok with that, for now. The words he writes show me only love. "You are the greatest Mom," he writes. If he says it must be true. Maybe I need to start being less hard on myself so that I can start being even more for him.